How to Start a Talk about Elderly Care

One of the most difficult steps in finding elderly care for a loved one is the first talk between you and the person whose well-being you’re concerned for. Issues like pride, denial, frustration, and embarrassment often make starting a talk about assisted living seem impossible. At Visiting Angels Kansas City, we’ve heard more than our fair share of stories about how hard that first talk can be; regardless of which side of the conversation you are on.

As specialists in elderly care, the team at Visiting Angels Kansas City has put together this guide to help make your talk less difficult. Remember that the sooner this conversation is started the better. It is always best to be proactive when it comes to elderly care.

Ask Questions So They Can Speak For Themselves

Asking questions can be a positive way to suggest you have concerns while opening the door for your loved one’s feelings or observations. Ask about the changes you’ve noticed and see if they’ve noticed them as well. If they have, ask how they’re feeling about these changes and what strategies they’re thinking of using to cope.


Remember to be receptive to your loved one’s answers. Your chances of a productive conversation are greater if your loved one feels they’ve been treated with respect. Try to put yourself in their shoes at every step of the conversation.

Qualify Your Thoughts And Observations With “I”

By framing your thoughts and observations as personal to you, you lower the risk of coming across as forceful or accusing.

Be Open About How You’re Affected

Talking about how you’re feeling and the concern that you have for your loved one can help spread the focus and relieve pressure. This way, elderly care is no longer only about your loved one and their struggle with independent living, it’s also about your emotional well-being.

Stress That This Is Their Decision

A major reason for resistance to elderly care is loss of control and self-sufficiency. Failing to respect a loved one’s wishes when discussing home care can make this problem worse. Except in extreme cases, the decision for in home elderly care should be left in the hands of your loved one.

Remember that elderly care sometimes takes more than one talk to tackle. It’s often the case that your loved one will need time to consider and weigh their options.

Give Visiting Angels Kansas City a call for more information on your elderly care options.

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